I just looked at our bonus inventory for Black Friday and thought...
This is getting ridiculous.
I just looked at our bonus inventory for Black Friday and thought...
"You know what? We're not giving away enough free stuff."
So I added MORE.
Picture this:
You walk into the gym locker room.
There I am. Dressed as Santa. Jacked as hell. Full send.
And I'm just BLASTING you in the face with free bottles, gym bags, FlexFit hats.
Products flying everywhere. Sparks shooting. Rope slams creating shockwaves. You can't escape the generosity.
That's basically what's happening right now with these Black Friday codes.
🎅 THE SANTA AMBUSH TIERS 🎅
SPEND $50+ →
💊 FREE Power Pills (your choice)
*Santa lobs one bottle at you*
SPEND $150+ → 🆕
💊 FREE Power Pills
🧢 FREE Vintage Muscle FlexFit Hat
*Santa starts rapid-firing products at your head*
SPEND $250+ → 💥
💊 2x FREE Power Pills (you pick both)
🧢 FREE Vintage Muscle FlexFit Hat
👜 FREE Limited-Edition Magnetic Gym Bag
*Full gatling gun mode. You're buried in freebies. Send help.*
| Get Blasted With Freebies → |
Okay look.
Some of you are still confused about the math.
So I made my nephew draw you a diagram in crayon.
He's 9. But honestly, it's pretty clear:
That's not a sale.
That's me in a Santa suit attacking you with generosity in a locker room while my 9-year-old nephew draws diagrams.
Peak masculinity. Peak business strategy.
And honestly? I'm not even sorry about it.
ALL THE CODES:
→ BF15 — $15 off $49+
→ BF40 — $40 off $99+
→ BF100 — $100 off $199+
→ BF15 — $15 off $49+
→ BF40 — $40 off $99+
→ BF100 — $100 off $199+
So here's what you do:
1. Walk into the "locker room" (our website)
2. Let Santa (me) absolutely pummel you with free gear
3. Load up your Q1 stack while getting $260 in bonuses
4. Walk out victorious (and well-stocked)
It's that simple.
Except now you're also getting a FlexFit hat to flex in while you're flexing.
Meta.
— The Vintage Muscle Team
(Currently dressed as Santa, reviewing crayon artwork)
P.S. — The FlexFit addition is new as of today. So if you ordered yesterday and hit $150+, let us know. Because why not? We're already out of control. My nephew thinks this is all very funny.
| Enter The Locker Room → |